Finally! Affordable Space Capabilities!

File this one under "DC, Only in."

Throughout DC's Metro system (also called WMATA or, more familiarly WM@#!%F€!£), you find a unique brand of advertising. Some of these ads may be familiar to you because they're always on your TV; they're in the poorly punctuated "Tell Congress Don't Tax Air" genre. While these ads may be a little different here because they specifically target lobbyists and Hill staffers, our most uniquely DC ads are aimed at the military. To non-military personnel like myself, these are often amusing signs for "the most battle-ready tank of its class" or "durable carrier platform surfacing." We're one step away from "But wait! Call within the next 5 minutes and we'll throw in this entire carrier fleet for free! That's one carrier platform, plus a free fleet, and bonus surface-to-air strike capabilities! All for 3 easy payments of 31Billion!! (+s&h)" That's perfectly priced if you've just come into a little money and want to stage your own military coup of a small island nation. But the most over the top example of what I like to call the "Billy Mays genre" is the one shown here. Finally! Affordable space capabilities to fit any budget. I'm pretty sure it's just a lease though.

So I hope you don't mind that in lieu of monuments or action shots of my coffee I give you this little glimpse into the bizarre world of DC living. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to go test drive the new 2012 Black Hawk.